It’s All About the Stories We Tell: Rethinking Your Celiac Story During the Holidays (and beyond!)

When our daughter Edyth was diagnosed with celiac disease at age 9, my husband and I fell into a familiar story: “Poor kid. This is going to make everything harder.” It was an understandable story. We were worried about school, birthday parties, travel, and of course all the food-centered holidays like Thanksgiving. Would she ever feel normal? Safe? Included?

But what a different story a decade has told! Edyth has made it through the challenges of middle school, high school, and college--and she's now flourishing as a first-year medical student. She is healthy, active, and surrounded by friends who love her. She also throws amazing dinner parties—usually 100% gluten-free, and the guests don’t even notice!

Same diagnosis. Same basic set of rules. But oh, how the story has changed. So during this holiday season, consider this idea: How we and our kids experience celiac has much to do with the stories we tell!

Here, a few ways to rethink your child's celiac story through the festivities and beyond:

1. Draft Your Own Holiday Story.

Around the holidays, it’s easy to slip into the tale of “Everyone else gets to…”: everyone else can just show up; everyone else can eat whatever they want; we’re the "different" ones causing inconvenience. I’ve told that story. But trust me; it never helped.

A better story sounds like this: “We’re planners. We’re prepared. We know how to keep our child safe and included.” And that version relies on choices you make before the event. You walk yourself through events—school parties, buffets, dessert tables—and spot the risky moments. You (and, when possible, your child) reaches out to hosts or teachers to chat about plans and menus. As a rule, offer to bring a few hearty, delicious gluten-free dishes so that your child always has a sure thing available.

And if you’re hosting, consider making the whole meal gluten-free. These days, it's pretty easy to manage! (You can always designate a small “contraband corner” for gluten-containing items brought by others... no harm, no foul.) And when your child watches others happily eating the items you made and brought to another's table, a new story will emerge: “My food is normal. My food is good. I belong here!”

2. Let Your Kitchen Spin a Happy Tale!

Our family had a saying that became one of our best story-shifters: If you can’t take it, make it! Whenever Edyth saw something yummy--but unsafe--that she wanted to try, whether a cake pop, a fancy cookie, or a savory dish, we added it to our "try to make it" list. Each week, we picked something from that list and set out to create a gluten-free version of our own.

Did they always look like the original? Absolutely not. Our cake pops, for instance, ended up square, soggy, and wilting off the stick. Even so, we laughed and ate them with spoons--and they were still quite tasty! More importantly, this practice invited a new and lasting story: “I’m not helpless. I can make almost anything I've seen at a party or a store. Being gluten-free feeds my creativity!” Such thinking, over days and years, helped shape our daughter's worldview. She's fearless in the way she handles challenges--be they food-related or otherwise.

3. Remember: Our Stories Determine Who We Are.

Celiac doesn’t just change what’s on your child’s plate. It can change how they see themselves. At first, WE were the narrators of Edyth’s story. We spoke to teachers, camp counselors, and dance instructors. We explained cross-contamination and ingredients. But as she got older, we started handing her the pen. Could she order safely at a restaurant? Explain her needs to a friend’s parent? Speak up when something didn’t feel right?

Another tip: Let your child in on the mystery! We never hid the science... we made it fun! We showed Edyth diagrams, framed blood-draws as adventures (liquid information!), explored the latest research together, and treated her celiac as something fascinating, rather than broken.

It wasn’t instant, but she eventually began to write her own new tale. Little by little, the plot shifted from “My parents handle this” to “I can take care of myself.” Her growing self-advocacy spilled into other parts of her life, too—from friendships to school to choices about health and safety. Celiac gave her a built-in reason to always listen to and honor her body's best interests.

It also shaped her future in a very literal way. The once-frail, growth-delayed nine-year-old became a healthy, athletic young woman who, on her own, took a job in a celiac research lab (no coincidence!) during a high school summer break. From there, she decided to pursue science in college and, eventually, to set her sights on becoming a doctor.

The new story? “My condition opened doors for me--it helped me become resilient, curious, and driven. It kept my priorities on things that matter!”

Quite a shift from the original "Poor me," don't you think?

It's Your Pen, Your Ink, Your Turn to Write...

True, this time of year can be tough for gluten-free families. But this time, as you plan, cook, pack, and double-check, remember a simple truth: What we bring to the table of life matters far more than what’s being served at any buffet.

We don’t always get to choose the situations or characters in our story, but we do get to decide how we will work with what we've been given. YOU can help shape your child's celiac story by imagining--and writing--that happy ending. Together.

And so it shall be.

••••••••

The author's books, The Gluten-Free Parent’s Survival Guide and The Gluten-Free Teen’s Survival Guide, were reviewed and are recommended by celiac physicians at Colorado Children's Hospital. Her articles and interviews have appeared in Gluten-Free Living, Whole Foods Magazine, Allergic Living, and numerous other GF sites and publications. The Gluten-Free Parent also has been a featured presenter at celiac awareness events and has taught cooking and informational courses for parents and children. Her new project, an informational coloring book for children with celiac disease, will be available in early 2026. For more information, visit https://www.glutenfreeparent.com or contact elynjoy@glutenfreeparent.com.

Giving Thanks for a Gluten-Free Journey: 3 Tips, and 3 Gifts

When our daughter Edyth was diagnosed with celiac disease at age 9, my husband and I walked a line between relief and concern. Even as her health improved, the worries remained. Would she be okay, not just physically, but emotionally and socially? And how would she (and we) ever survive all the dietary considerations at school... or while traveling, or--on a timely note--during the highly food-focused holiday season?

But on this Thanksgiving more than a decade later, I'm here to tell you that--inconveniences and challenging moments aside--Edyth's diagnosis has turned out to be one of the greatest gifts of her life. In fact, I can confidently report that she is flourishing in her early 20's not despite, but BECAUSE of her experience as a gluten-free child!

I'll explain more about this later. But first, how do you handle the daily challenges when 'tis the season for gluten?

1) Don't Get Anxious; Get Planning!

The more you think ahead for the little things, the better you’ll be able to sail through the moments. Think through the expected course of an event, and anticipate the moments when food safety may be an issue. That said...

2) Whether or not you are hosting a holiday gathering, plan to bring a few dishes to ensure a safe and healthy event for your child.

If the dinner is at your place, of course you can make the entire event gluten-free (we always did--with the exception of a "contraband" area away from the rest of the buffet, featuring mainly things others brought). For us, a safe Thanksgiving included GF cornbread and cashew stuffing, good ol’ fashioned mashed potatoes with GF chestnut gravy, orange cranberries, some easy veggie side dishes, and pies made with store-bought or homemade GF crusts. Because our daughter has been vegetarian for longer than her diagnosis, the turkey was something Grandmom made and brought.

Now, if you are going to Aunt Mimi's place or another venue, don't hesitate to inquire about their planned menu. I remember bringing a GF stuffing and dessert to a few Thanksgivings away. Often, the host will have some safe options as well--such as a salad minus croutons, fruit, veggie platters, and GF-labeled ice cream. If cross-contamination is a factor (which, for us, it was), consider bypassing things baked in someone else's oven. Don't feel you have to bring the entire meal... just enough to keep your child fed and happy.

Sometimes offering to bring more dishes translates to more comfort for your GF child--because sharing those dishes means he/she won't be the odd one out, if that makes sense!

3) Help transform frustration into creativity.

One saying that helped us tremendously through the years, and through MANY an event, goes like this: "If you can't take it, make it!"

To help with those flashes of self-pity (because who wouldn't feel that when then those pink cake pops are so pretty!), Edyth always kept a running list of foods she had wanted to try in various places--but alas. And then, each week, we'd choose one thing from her list to make, or attempt to make, gluten-free. True, dishes didn't always translate perfectly. (Case in point: our "cake pops" were square and soggy and fell off the sticks--but we ate them with forks anyway!)

But because of this little game, Edyth has become a devoted gluten-free cook and baker. Now off on her own, she gathers with friends regularly to whip up safe and delicious meals and desserts. When it comes to the kitchen, she's fearless... which is exactly the point!

And now, let's turn back to the gifts that have come from this whole adventure. I've written about them before, but they are worth a reminder during these times of reflection.

Here are the "best of the best": 

1) Self-advocacy

After Edyth's initial diagnosis, we felt we had to intervene on her behalf in ways big and small. We met with teachers and camp counselors and dance coaches. But over time, we slowly passed the reigns to her... and guess what? She took them! Kids take charge when they realize that they can.

And the more we turned over that power of self-advocacy, the more she stepped into it. From ordering for herself in restaurants to relaying her needs to friends, their parents, and others, Edyth's confidence grew into...

2) Empowerment & Self-Awareness

Research has shown that once a child is taught to self-advocate in one area, that sense of growing empowerment often extends to other areas as well. Of course, every child and teen will face moments of certain insecurity. Yet I firmly believe that Edyth's celiac disease helped minimize these episodes since she'd been "forced" to acquire tools due to her food intolerance.

From the peer groups she gravitated towards to the built-in aversion to drinking/drug culture, I believe that having celiac created a certain level of health awareness that resulted in (mostly) positive choices. Looking back, that connect seems clearer now than ever.

3) Surprise (and, in our case, life-changing) Interests!

As I write this, the once-frail and growth-delayed Edyth works full-time in a celiac lab and has applied to medical school. Now healthy and athletic, her interest in the human body sprang directly from her own condition.

My advice? Don't hide any of it! Show your child diagrams. Make getting blood draws exciting (yes, you heard it here--liquid information!). Encourage open conversation, and help demystify it all. Who knew how thrilling digestion or chemical processes could be? I certainly did not, but the future Dr. Edyth's curiosity only grew after life threw her the celiac curveball. Who would have guessed?

The bottom line is this: On Thanksgiving, we'd do well to remember and convey that what we bring to the table of life is far more important than whatever is being served at the buffet. The daily mantra in our house has remained... It's not about the food; it's about the people, places, and experiences in our lives. This idea bears repeating before events or whenever we forget what truly matters.

Because I am telling you firsthand that we--and our children--have the power to transform even the most daunting of challenges into the fairy dust that propels our lives.

And that's something to be grateful for!

*****

Elyn Joy’s books, The Gluten-Free Parent’s Survival Guide and The Gluten-Free Teen’s Survival Guide, have been reviewed and recommended by pediatric celiac physicians. Beyond these, the author's articles and interviews have appeared in Gluten-Free Living, Whole Foods Magazine, Allergic Living, and numerous other GF sites and publications. Elyn has been a featured presenter at Colorado Children's Hospital's celiac awareness events and has taught cooking and informational courses for parents and children. For more information, visit https://www.glutenfreeparent.com or contact elynjoy@glutenfreeparent.com.

For Your Gluten-Free Child, the Best "Comfort Food" is Self-Reliance

When our daughter was first diagnosed with celiac disease, I remember feeling both relieved (to finally have answers) and fearful for what might come next.  Will my child be able to live a "normal" life (whatever that is)? Will she miss out on the fun at parties/sleepovers/events? And what about summer camp or long visits to the cousins? How can we protect her from all this--given the idea of three meals a day for the rest of her life?

The truth is, you won't.  Better said, you can't. Sure, you may start out with kitchen pantries to update, school and upcoming events to navigate, and new routines to calibrate. And in those early days, it may seem as though you'll have to watch your child's every bite for as long as she lives.

But there will come a time, and fairly soon, when you won't be there when the food rolls out or when the orders come in. Trust me, you needn't panic! The comfort foods on the table will always change, but the real comfort will manifest along the way. As you guide your child to become a self-governing, self-advocating person with a food intolerance, you both will not only breathe a little easier, but also discover that a challenge like this can also be life-enhancing.

How do you get there? The short answer is slowly, steadily. While those safety measures are learned and negotiated, no measure will ever be more important than the knowledge and self-trust you cultivate in your child. Help her to understand her condition--use medical diagrams and whatever you can to clarify exactly what is happening in her body and why avoiding gluten is so important. And then, hand over the power a little at a time.

When you're out at a restaurant, let your gluten-free child order for himself. When a friend is throwing a birthday party, you may need to make a call to the host for a very young child, but if your partygoer is old enough to do homework, then let that call be made by him.

If your child is shy, young, or very new to this, consider posing a project to design a card explaining the food intolerance. Our daughter's version had flowers and hearts (of course), along with this message: "I have celiac disease and cannot eat gluten. These are the most common foods that contain it: (insert list). Thank you for helping me stay safe and healthy! Sincerely, Edyth." For the first year or so, Edyth handed that card to people making dietary decisions in various parts of her life.

Showing that we trust our children to advocate for their own health is like handing them wings to help them fly. After all, no matter how many kids are eating that pizza, or how many gluten-filled cakes and cookies are out on the buffet, THEY (as in, our children) will have to face decision-making moments at school, sports practice, parties, and so forth. They'll have to call on their own willpower when a kid at lunch calls them "weird" for not trying Aunt Mary's famous lemon torte, or when someone else dares them to take "just one bite." (Our daughter's answer? Say no thanks, find a safe alternative, and then commit to whipping up a safe version of that lemon cake later on!)

So... comfort foods be darned! The true comfort will arise from the ashes of our letting go, just a little, every day. Self-reliance, born out of independence and self-trust, is a skill worth teaching and worth learning, celiac or no celiac. Because when your child gains this superpower, it will translate to other parts of her life. An empowered young person who understands her own condition--one who reads labels, advocates for safe eating options, and navigates tricky social situations--will have an edge up on becoming an equally empowered, confident, and self-actualized adult.

And what greater gift can a parent give?

*****

For more tips & secrets to raising a healthy, confident gluten-free child, order a copy of the The Gluten-Free Parent's Survival Guide ... or, to help your teen navigate the challenges of going gluten-free, The Gluten-Free Teen's Survival Guide.